T stands for Typical Teenager

i feel undermined and left behind. there is such an abundance of intense beauty around me, yet i cannot find my own place in it. powerschool is not included in this surrounding beauty. the chocolate milk i drank at lunch today was, and your widening of eyes and giggle. and the memory of the man at six flags who made a loud procession of beeping sounds before launching you on the ride. a lot of kids made fun of him, flipped their pristine hair and gave mean looks. my cousins and i beeped back lovingly, and he absolutely brightened up. im so lucky to have friends so close to me that i can feel them within me wherever i am; im speaking of Aylee and Catriona. I miss lush grass and shorts and the small traces of white salt that formed on skin after days at the ocean, i miss the ice cream that drips out of the hole in the bottom of waffle cones, and I miss laying flat on my porch in the golden shimmering heat reading for hours, as well as stripping down and leaping into your neighbors pool in sticky heated summer nights. Today I was looking at myself in the small, foundation mirror and applying makeup after gym and you walked by and told me i looked beautiful. THANK YOU and i really never want to be that girl doing that again. Not like I'm judging people who put on makeup in class. But personally, when I do it, it is a surrender to my insecurities, which is a sad collapse to witness.