passionate manifestation

i constantly try hardest for (and go after, and crave for, and stress about,) validation and belonging to the things that hurt me most. im so weak this way.

..... mmmmmmmmadadgggsdfgragejadhrg

i noticed the way you laughed harder than anyone else in class when you made that joke. actually, no one else really laughed. except the teacher, whose sudden yelp of giggles was so abrupt and high pitched that it smacked us all in the face. annoyed, awoken leers at you both. i could sense how pleased you were at this humorous comment youd spouted. but there was no response from our drowsy classmates..so you smothered it. i watched you swallow your laugh down... first the sound gets devoured in an akward self-realization. the pleasure solidifies into a smirk under your cheeks. then the hard swallowing of the joy itself. silent and dignified composure. it made me really sick. joy should never be embarassing, no matter how violent or passionate its manifestation

there are powerlines
in our bloodlines
and if you dont love me let me go